Pools is sloops backward.

You know what "lagoon" means in Spanish, right?  "The goon".

Mustache Madness

If you're eating, you shouldn't be paranoid. This is why I don't
reccomend growing a moustache. You'll undoubtedly be more self-
concious. But, you will have conveniently stored left-overs after each
meal. Double-edged sword.

Rocky Relationship

People from Colorado scare the bejeezus out of me